Mentoring Men

The following is taken from an email sent to our subscriber list.

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Every now and again, if you don't mind, I'm going to take a break from sales emails and hit you with something a little different; some personal thoughts, ideas, experiences or projects that might resonate with you.

This time around its the topic of mentorship. When we think back to our formative years or perhaps a little later on in life, many of us can pinpoint mentors who played a role in our development. Whether it be a teacher, scout leader, sports coach, parent or even a role model we didn't actually meet but, nevertheless, gave us direction, purpose and evidence-based learning through their books or appearances on TV. In fact, sometimes it is only with reflection that we realise a certain singer, politician, or leader had enough of an impact on our lives that we find ourselves modelling their behaviour or attempting to echo some of their positive attributes. As time goes on our mentors can come and go and, in the age of the podcast, we might even be a little overwhelmed at the many voices we have to choose from. I had many mentors, both face to face and those I never met but whose work I admired.

I'd like to use this email to talk about one mentor in particular who, undoubtedly, set me on a path of business and entrepreneurship. When I finished (limped through) my A-Levels, I was lost. My initial dreams to become a superstar DJ on BBC radio had been rocked by the highly academic university path required by the BBC at the time – I really wasn't ready to lean into university studies back then [Side note. I did eventually study broadcasting at degree level a mere 10 years later]. I was (and still am) a generalist, quite good at many things but by no means an expert at anything. What I did have though, and what was encouraged by my mentor, was a sense of curiosity – something I've never lost and an attribute that I feel defines me as a man. That's how much impact this particular mentor had on my life.

With my A-Levels complete I dabbled here and there with various things but nothing stuck. My parents suggested that I talk to my uncle Tony, he ran a garage forecourt, shop and car repair centre on the edge of our village. Very quickly I became 'the boy' in the repair workshop – the dogsbody and willing butt of many jokes. No skin off my nose, I was in an environment where things were happening: hard work, problem solving, unpredictable customers, unpredictable colleagues, strange and often large vehicles to drive, shocking joke telling and filthy language. It was horrible and fantastic all at once.

Tony was a man of many sayings and quite a character. I never knew his full backstory but he had some tattoos, was from Irish stock and knew how to handle himself in a physical situation, all whilst being very calm, softly spoken and incredibly generous with his time and experience. I didn't see it at the time but, although he was definitely the boss, Tony had the ability to let people try things, to make mistakes and to learn through experience. This freedom was the perfect match with my re-emerging curiosity which was, quite frankly, squashed by the school system and, the more I suggested ideas, the more he said 'yes', let's give that a go.

This freedom led me from being the workshop apprentice though a journey that included being given a huge V6 engine to transplant into a Volvo, to taking over all bookkeeping for the £1m turnover business, to opening a tyre fitting department in a unused building, to starting a used car sales department, which then led me to import the very first 'New VW Beetle' into the UK and, ultimately, to produce a business plan and finance to buy the business from him. That last part didn't work out but the process was another learning experience that would prove useful in later life. I also implemented new software, navigated the deadly millennium bug (remember that?!) and was kept humble by regularly mucking out the 'worst jet wash in Warwickshire' as voted by Max Power magazine. It being the Warwickshire countryside we had regular visits from 4x4s and tractors who really gave the jet wash a run for its money. Because of the access to various cars of all shapes, ages and sizes, I started to forge an identity as a slightly quirky individual, someone who does things differently and lives by his own rules. I loved that! Apologies to my current Skoda but I can't wait to replace you with a classic American truck when the time is right.

Now that I'm in my mid 40s, probably the same age as Tony was when he became my mentor, I feel like it's time to give back. I've gained enough life experience, read hundreds of books, made plenty of mistakes and made good headway toward business success. In recent months I've begun to research different organisations and avenues into mentorship. Many of the formal routes require a large time commitment, something I'm not able to do with a young family and a growing business to run. Instead I'll probably do something less organised, perhaps a page on our website offering mentorship via an initial call and then regular support by WhatsApp... I'm not sure yet, I'm just playing with ideas. What I do know is that young men in particular are having a tough time, especially those who have no male role model in their lives. I should point out that I recognise many other groups who are equally worthy of support, but I was a young man once so I have some common ground and a basis for understanding from the off. Also, the stats around suicide, loneliness, addiction and struggle within the education system are noticeably worse (a lot worse) for young men. I you get a chance I thoroughly recommend exploring Scott Galloway's work on this, here's a good summary from Vox. 

With all this in mind, I've been thinking about the attributes required to become a mentor of young men. The reality surprised me. Contrary to perhaps what I thought was required (and what had maybe held me back) you don't need to be a CEO of a wildly successful company and be driving a £200,000 car to qualify. Instead, some of the following is more than enough: experience of the workplace or small business, running a home and basic DIY, having a family, managing money, knowing how to stay healthy, respect and courtesy, the ability to reflect and repair when things go wrong, a sense of humour, navigating travel, how to dress appropriately for different scenarios, how to communicate, and the ability to ask good questions and then listen. What really struck me is how this list probably applies to all of my friends and many of my acquaintances. We don't need to be superhero billionaires! We all have something to offer right now. As 2024 reaches a close and I begin to think about next year, I'm excited to find a way to begin connecting mentors with mentees in a reasonably low-commitment but impactful way.

I'm keen to hear your thoughts on this topic. Did you have a great mentor? Are you involved in a mentoring scheme that fits the bill? Do you know a young man who might want to build a connection with 'Icey-Tek Luke' to see if we gel? Hit reply to this email if you feel inclined. Otherwise, please have a super Christmas & Stay Cool!

Luke Power